Tell Me About Your Perfect Day

What Would It Look Like?

My book gets published and all of the family comes over for a blow-out dinner to celebrate. Except, who’s cooking?

I wake up feeling deeply rested and refreshed. The sun is shining and the weather is going to be perfect - just warm enough without being hot and sticky. There is beautiful scenery to look at - maybe a beach - and, then what?

There are lots of articles that tell you how to find your fill-in-the-blank: life purpose, blog topic, your true self. And they all start by describing your perfect day. Can you do it?

How About Fun?

I remember being in an interview of some kind - maybe for a job, maybe something else. “What do you do for fun?”, the person asked. That should be an easy one, right? Nope.

I enjoy camping, but that’s one week a year. I enjoy having the whole family around the campfire and telling stories and laughing. Again, once a year. I’m not sure, but maybe these things depend too much on other people to count as what I specifically do for fun.

Maybe I’m not a fun person. I have my moments, but really, no one would describe me as fun. If someone were planning a party, no one would say, “Invite Brenda. She’s fun.” But if that same someone needed help with the logistics of planning a large party, then my name would certainly come up. I’m not fun, but I can help you get organized and plan things out.

Do you have fun activities that you do on a regular basis? My friend Laura and I walk several times a week, and we enjoy it, but we think of it as exercise, not fun. Is it? Does that count as fun?

It’s All About the Middle

So let’s leave the fun out and come up with a perfect day. What’s your idea of a perfect day? Can you envision the whole day? What you will do, who you might do it with?

I think mine would begin with a perfect night’s sleep. Waking up feeling the way I used to when I was sixteen and it was Saturday. And it would end with a sense of well being and satisfaction, the way any good day ends.

This is sort of like trying to write a book. You know the beginning and the end, but what happens in the middle? Or - another analogy - the makings of a sandwich. You have two delicious slices of sourdough, but what are you going to put between them?

It’s all about the middle.

The Problem

I think I have such trouble with the middle because I’ve spent too much of my life planning other people’s middles. I bet I could come up with the idea of a perfect day for my husband or daughter with no problem. I guess they’re the ones who have been having fun while I am behind the scenes making it all work.

I’ve read that when you have a problem like this, it’s because you have spent too much of your time trying to please others and not enough time on yourself. You can’t come up with a perfect day because you don’t even know what you like. You are out of touch with yourself.

I used to wonder what women meant back in the day when they would leave their families to “find themselves”. I never understood that, but maybe I do now, although I don’t think you need to leave your family to do it.

The Solution?

Sorry, I don’t have a “perfect” solution. And maybe we should drop that word from the description of our day, too. Just a really good day would work. One that is about us for a change and that feels good. No one else has to be there, unless you want them to be.

I guess you should start with thinking about what you enjoy doing. And if you don’t know, maybe make a list of things you would like to find out about. How will you know how much you love mud wrestling unless you try it?

So how about that? Make a list of maybe five to ten things you’d like to try. And then, over the next month or so, try some. I’m going to do it. Who’s going to join me?